Sunday, March 24, 2013

Passover: The Low carb way to shape up for spring

Yes, it's not just for the faithful any more.  Celebrate Passover (or at least its dietary restrictions) and you too can shape up for spring and the training season beyond.  Cut those carbs by eliminating leavened bread for eight full days while being able to have unlimited portions of matzoh, a dry tasteless bread substitute that you will soon grow sick of even in all the inventive forms modern cookbooks now recommend.  As a result you will cut out most desserts, pasta, most cereals, beer, increase fruits and vegetables, and pray for pizza on Tuesday night April 2nd (Monday April 1st if you're reform, long story).  Also depending on whether you are doing the European or Middle Eastern variety, peanut butter, legumes, and other stuff with natural yeast may be off the list as well!  Its fun, safe and effective and guaranteed to help you weight as your appetite naturally disappears!


Warning, most common side effects may include two different forms of stomach distress.  Jews debate whether matzoh stuffs you up or gives you the runs.  Consult your doctor, spouse, or significant other before disposing all bread products in the house before Passover begins.  Some patients on the Passover diet also may develop  the uncontrollable urge to eat flourless chocolate cake or watch The Ten Commandments, Ben Hur, The Greatest Story Ever Told, or the Easter bunny episode of South Park.


1 comment:

  1. Passover, or as we call it, the festival of salad. . .