Great Expectations

I planned to run without any expectations. Then -- and here's the mind outwitting itself -- I came to believe that the expectation-free run was sure to produce a great result. (I have precedent for that: in 2001 I planned "just to finish" a race in San Diego and set what remains my PR.) I ran the smartest race I've run in years. I spent 21 miles on the hip of a woman who held a perfect 7' pace -- any variation was surely due to marker placement rather than her pacing. I stayed in sight of her for the next two or three miles after mile 21. When the piano fell on me at mile 24, I fell apart like I never have. Somehow I tacked on 6 or more minutes in the last 2.2 miles, without walking a step. I could barely muster the strength for the "assault" on the Iwo Jima Memorial and may even have stopped before the finish line. Colors washed out and I sat, feeling just dumb, on a grassy hill. I'll be pleased if I never, ever experience that again.

The final result isn't embarrassing. My inability, in now 11 marathons, ever to anticipate the degree to which the train can derail after 2 1/2 hours is. I'm also experiencing a painful realization that simply being fit, running a dozen or more races a year, is not good enough to accomplish lofty goals. I will need to do what others do, and plan for a race months out, hitting the target workouts, doing the prescribed long runs . . . Maybe if I pull myself together mentally I'll see what I can put together for Boston.